Meet the gang

Here we are, the reprobates responsible for bringing you this menagerie of links and recommendations. Contact us

Fazza:- Unloveable.

Born and raised on the banks of the River Alt with a bottle in one hand and a Desert Eagle in the other, Fazza struggled as a youngster to grasp the concept of non-violence against fellow voters. Recently released from what he likes to call ‘The Dark Place’ he has gone from strength to strength and has become the unlikely pretender to the throne, King of the Geeks. When in power, Fazza promises to change many things, including peoples right to speak freely. Crown Green Bowling will become mandatory for all voters over the age of 18, and the practice of Religion ancient and modern will be outlawed, except of course for the worship of EL CHEESECAKE FAZZA. I feel a sub-heading coming on:-


Who would have thought that in this age of respect for all denominations and beliefs, a man would rise to such power and have the authority and I hesitate to say the audacity to outlaw all religion except his own. El Cheesecake Fazza will be explained as soon as the revolution comes but until now we will all sit tight, continue to do multiple one armed pull ups and keep our pistols well cleaned.

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Chris:- How very leftfield.

Left to die in the long grasses of St Chads fields, Chris rose from nothing to become the first man to receive the coveted ‘Tosser of the Year Award.’ Unforseen by the critics he swept the board in the annual ‘Fuckin Prick Academy Awards’ and astonished the hoy palloy with his startling acappella rendition of ‘Im a gobshite what you gone do about it?’ at the ‘Knob Head of the Year’ revue in the summer of 93. Since then he has become a model citizen and very likeable. In fact he is no longer in any way a Cunt.

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Many believe he should burn.

Raised by wolves in Skipton, nobody would expect Neil to rise to the heights of Supreme Commander of all that grows, and they would be right. So far Neil has only managed to gain control of every man on the planet called Desmond. Though this is an achievement in itself. Neil aspires to usurp the power currently possessed by the governor’s of men called Harold, Abdul and Wilbert. We fully endorse his plight and so should you. If your name is any of the above and you make public your support for Neil, you will be treated with mercy when the revolution comes.

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Kev (Jervo):-
The gingers will rise again.

Here at we strongly believe that every ethnic minority should have a representative, except when it comes to Red Heads. Aside from the fact that we cant really see their eye brows, Red Heads are fast becoming the scourge of our nation. Kevin may be an upstanding citizen now, but in the past his unprecedented damage to the fabric of out society has stayed true to the reputation of Red Heads worldwide. He will continue to make reparations for his past contribution to the downfall of society and I ask you to support him, even if you have a normal hair tone. We’re with you all the way Kev.

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Robs:- More bikes than soft Joe.

Contrary to popular heresay Robs is not dying, he’s just wearing a lightly coloured hat. Do not be fooled this is a ploy to make you feel sorry for him and vote for him. Although Robs’s promised policies are very promising. He plans to deem the pickling of deceased elderly relatives to be the accepted norm and institutionalise the widespread use of cattle prods in the home. We are sceptical about his plan to veto all commerce outside of Westvale but he must know something we don’t. (Other than how to simultaneously milk the nipples of two men)

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Peter:- Blackcurrant cordial dependant.

Peter wasn’t born, he grew in a green house and his parents were tomato plants. After escaping the confines his botanical childhood home, Peter ran off to the Americas were he served for a long time as Sheriff of Hicksville. The residents of the town soon realized he was a fraud and banished him and his sheriffs badge from the country. Exiled to Leeds he is now spending his winter years sewing pigskins into a swine carpet which he plans to roll naked on and experience great mirth.


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Dave Casso (R.I.P):- It always happens to the ugly ones.

Every group has its tragic tale to tell. Dave was a role model to us all and he will be sorely missed. I personally didn’t like him very much but that’s just one mans opinion. To be honest we are not actually sure he is deceased as there have been many sightings of him, in fact he was last seen working in Ellis Brigham Mountain Sports on Bold Street Liverpool, these crazy fans are all the same they just wont accept that he is gone. Thankfully Dave’s extensive collection of retro trainers have been restored and are on show for the public in Open on Church Street Liverpool also known to few as the ‘Dave Cassidy Memorial Trainer Museum.’

Have you seen Dave?
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